Hello Bay Community,
Tomorrow, October 10th is World Mental Health Day!
When we talk about what mental health means, I’m reminded of this quote from Dr. Lisa Damour.
During the teenage years it could be easy to mistake what are actually very healthy feelings such as these listed for signs of poor mental health. It is actually quite the opposite; discomfort is necessary for growth. While we obviously don’t want to feel uncomfortable all of the time or mostly, I am often telling teenagers that we also don’t want to run away from any feelings that don’t include joy or happiness. This is actually doing us a disservice.
When we talk about resiliency and emotional resilience, it includes being flexible, practicing being okay with discomfort, learning from mistakes and successes, as well as practicing self-compassion. This growth mindset in terms of emotions is pivotal in young people particularly, as the habits that we form in the teenage years are the ones we are going to implement and use for the rest of our lives (broadly speaking).
The self-compassion piece is huge though, and the one that is often forgotten. It’s helpful to embrace imperfection (spoiler alert…there is no such thing as being perfect). It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, exhausted, not prepared, stuck, sad, confused, the list goes on and on. The pivotal moment that can change these feelings from overwhelming or chronic to moments we can learn from, is having self-compassion for ourselves that they are there, and knowing that you can get through them. Slow down the time between feeling and reaction. Breathe. Practice mindfulness. Know that this is not only healthy, but necessary for growth. Trust that you’ll get through it. If you don’t know how immediately, that’s okay. How might you think about getting through these difficult feelings?
Of course if these feelings persist or you feel that you can’t shake them no matter what you do, please reach out and talk to someone for support. We are also fully aware that if a tragedy occurs, this is a totally different story. For everyday life, however, just know that mental health is about not only experiencing “negative” emotions, but getting through them and feeling pretty darn good about that. Working through hard things is growth. I hope we can all remember this on World Mental Health Day and everyday.
Take care of yourselves and each other,
Suzanne, Christina and Tessa
Bay School Counseling Team
M I N D
B O D Y
S O U L
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